


On the Anthropology of Stultus Saxum [The common Troll]

by Marcus_S



Series: Arya Stark in the Discworld [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Politics, Sex, Trolls, humour [hopefully]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:22:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marcus_S/pseuds/Marcus_S
Summary: A Paper by Dr Arya Stark DPhil, MA, Senior Reader in Proper Sciences at the Polytechnic of Ankh-Morpork
Series: Arya Stark in the Discworld [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177100





	On the Anthropology of Stultus Saxum [The common Troll]

**Author's Note:**

> The characters belong to GRR Martin and Terry Pratchett, the story remains © Marcus Stanson 2021. In this universe Dr Stark probably does not get married.

Introduction

Stultus Saxum [literally Stupid Stone] otherwise the Common Troll is a significant species on The Discworld. For a number of very bad reasons they have not been adequately studied in any serious scientific way. This work corrects that error and provides an overview for those going on to develop research in specific fields.

Acknowledgements

The author acknowledges the following websites which provide help with the maths

<https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/iq-percentile>

<https://www.socscistatistics.com/tests/regression/default.aspx>

and <https://discworld.fandom.com/wiki/Troll> which provided some uncorroborated claims in certain areas, which the author has accepted for now.

Taxonomy

The original nomenclature is based on the naive and ignorant assumption is that Trolls are stupid. Identifying a source for their taxonomical classification has proved problematic and it is either not genuinely scientifically attributable, most likely in the authors opinion, or the sources have been lost, or destroyed to avoid embarrassment to the families of their authors.

Therefore I am proposing a new classification Petram Sentiens [Sentient Rock] to be used henceforth.

Population subdivisions

The definition of a species is that it can interbreed but not produce reproductive offspring with other species. Much as some Humans do not wish to acknowledge that Dwarfs and Werewolves are part of their species, despite the evidence to the contrary, some Trolls claim that being Igneous, Sedimentary or Metamorphic makes them different, in particular Sedimentary trolls are considered slow by other types. I can find no scientific evidence for this; on the contrary I have already identified over forty different rock types in Ankh-Morpork [See appendix 1] and am sure that many more will be found in other areas of The Disc. Given the nature of Troll Sexuality [q.v.] an enormous number of cross breeds can theoretically exist, although societal pressures may impose limits on mating habits and Trollochemistry [q.v.] will impose limits on offspring of a specific mating.

Trollochemistry 

All Trolls are made of Metamorphorical rock and in an analogously to human biochemistry, certain minerals, listed below can be identified as being involved in all trolls, however unlike humans they do not all have to be involved to form a viable organism.

Table 1 Minerals intrinsic to Troll existence

Feldspars

Quartz

Amphiboles

Micas

Olivine

Calcite

Pyroxenes

These minerals are in their turn primarily formed from eight key elements, which are again not all required.

Table 2 Elements key to mineral formation

Oxygen

Silicon

Aluminium

Iron

Magnesium

Calcium

Sodium

Potassium

There are then a huge numbers of elements, including virtually all the metals that are solid at ambient temperatures, which can be found in traces in one Troll or another.

Fabricity

Unlike human physiology where definitive structures with defined functions must be present and operating for an organism to be viable it is possible for a troll to be entirely homogenous although this is unusual, most display differences in colour, crystal habit, hardness, streak, lustre and cleavage throughout the bodies entirely analogous with non-sentient rocks. While I have done a limited amount of work I have not yet identified any differences in sentience dependent on a specific fabrication patterns.

Obviously certain issues of hardness and in particular cleavage can impact both a trolls lifespan and difficulty of generation. Structures with a tendency to fragment rarely mature into adult rocks and those with low hardness erode faster leading to shorter lifespans. This latter may impact behaviour and is discussed further in the Sociology section.

General behaviour

Trolls are facultativley nocturnal, due to the effect of temperature on their IQ [q.v.].

Although they are seen as loud and aggressive this is largely an intra-species behaviour which has rapidly changed on contact with, in particular, humans. Of 200 trolls interviewed on the subject 183 claimed they had never ‘employed more force or volume to a human than I would to a pebble’. They do not generally intend to intimidate so a polite request to speak more quietly will often obtain positive results.

Reproduction

Trolls are asexual and reproduce by rubbing what humans would term bellybuttons. A fertile troll will have developed a pronounced and observable ring around its belly button. Two trolls who agree to mate, will carefully rub the two rings to generate through friction both heat and pressure. This will cause the material in both rings to fluidise in a small act of pyroclastic flow to form a new granule or grain in the enclosed space created by the two belly buttons. The granule is allowed to form to the point where it cannot remain in the receptacle at which point mating is over and it is released. Granules are protected and kept by one of the two parents.

Clearly the range of granule produced is limited to a combination of the materials in its parents.

Growth and maturation

Granules are then nurtured, with further bellyrubbings from the bellyrings and even a significant part of the abdomen being worn away and the material allowed to flow onto the granule held below. In this way a granule grows to become a pebble, then a cobble and finally a stone, which is large enough and has enough body definition to ingest its own food. A stone can be compared to a weaned baby.

The time taken to raise a troll to a stone varies vastly dependent on the availability of materials. A granule can in theory be kept indefinitely until it can be ‘grown on’. Typically however a pair will aim to produce an adult troll within 9 months. Several commented that this was to ‘avoid having to waste good winter months thinking time, any idiot can rub bellies and produce a stone’.

A stone transitions to a rock [adult] when it starts to lay down its first belly ring. Again the time to do this is very food dependant, but the author’s current research gives an average of 27 ± 3 years, n= 240.

Trolls continue to grow throughout their life and as result as their mass passes a certain point they become more sedentary and thoughtful, to the point where it is difficult to separate them from the surrounding landscape. For ethical reasons research into weights and ages is currently considered ‘off limits’ although the author has received verbal permission from Sergeant Detritus to do so in his individual case. More practically securing funding and assembling a team for research lasting several thousand years will be a bigger problem.

Diet

You are what you eat is in the case of Trolls literally true. Trolls evince clear preferences for materials that match their own make up. Of 187 troll sampled only 6 said they would eat minerals or trace elements not already part of their make-up and in blind tasting only 9 out of 192 trolls failed to recognise ‘foreign’ flavours.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that drinking molten metals and/or electrolytes increases a troll’s temperature and thus has a negative effect on his intelligence although there is no evidence of increased aggression. Further more detailed research in this area is ongoing and results will be reported when obtained.

A mixture of ammonium nitrate and Radium known on the streets of Ankh-Morpork as Slab can have hallucinogenic effects and as result is classified as a Class A prohibited substance in Ankh-Morpork.

Trolls do excrete waste material, allowing them to remove the minerals they require from a food source in appropriate proportions. This is however not a frequent action, one or two coprolites a week is typical, mean 1.48 ± 0.23 n = 250. Trolls do not share human embarrassment about their waste as ones trolls coprolite may be another’s dinner.

Sociology

Trolls are more individuals than a coherent society, co-operating only to breed and mature young, but where they interact with humans they integrate easily, meaning that Trolls can become valued members of multi-species societies.

Psychologically most Trolls behave in ways typical of large and very strong humans. They are therefore often quite relaxed personalities, difficult to upset, fluster or threaten.

Troll society does not seem to preferentially differentiate for or against those containing gold or precious gems except as noted below.

The two obvious exceptions to the above are: -

1.Trolls of a particularly large crystalline structure with a tendency to easy cleavage. Such Trolls frequently display behaviours as brittle as their bodies; they can be sharp, cutting and highly abrasive and are best kept at a distance, from both humans and other trolls. They do not breed easily taking very extended period to lay down material and form it under extremes of pressure and are quite rare [less than 0.5% of trolls in Ankh-Morpork fall in to this category].

2.Trolls of soft chalky rocks who tend to avoid physical contact and also fast flowing water and generally lead a rather reclusive life. They have a tendency to be discriminatory in their breeding habits due to the risk of asymmetric material loss when breeding with their harder brethren. There are no Chalk Trolls in Ankh-Morpork, but a colony of ten live in a ‘White Rocks only’ enclave to the West of Ohulan Cutash. They are resistant to integration with fellow Trolls or contact with Humans who they describe abusively as ‘Fleshies’ or ‘Leakers’.

Families

Mineralogically a granule can be raised by a whole succession of parents. Any two trolls can take an immature stage and move it to the next stage. Typically one of the initial pair will take charge of raising a granule and particularly in areas where they are in contact with humans a granule may be raised to a stone by the same two trolls.

Any attempt to anthropomorphise this caring troll as a mother is an error as such a mother may also have partaken to a greater or lesser degree in the raising of other young in the care of other trolls, either before, after or during the raising of its own immature troll.

Sexual ethics

Breeding is regarded as tricky enough activity without spectators and is thus carried out in private, although two pairs might share a room if it was large enough.

It is virtually impossible for a troll to force itself on another troll, mating must be carried out carefully to obtain the correct temperatures and pressures so coercion is considered extremely rare. No troll in the 265 I asked would admit to such an experience in either direction.

This does not prevent lower grades of verbal harassment, comments such as ‘Go on show us your ring’, can be viewed as anything from innocent flirting to active harassment depending on the two trolls in question, meaning that mating can be as fraught a subject for trolls as for humans.

Gender

Trolls have no concept of Gender and find human discussion of the subject quite confusing, a troll is a troll is a troll.

Politics 

Troll political structures are simplistic to non-existent by humans standards, most Trolls are quite individualistic only co-operating to breed and nurture young. They have shown no inclination to involve themselves in politics in Ankh-Morpork.

IQ

I think it is clearly understood now that a Trolls functional IQ is inversely proportional to their temperature. The current best fit average equation is: -

IQ = -1.25 T + 454 Where T is measured in degrees Kelvin

Based on a sample of 100 trolls all tested at 255, 283 and 308 ⁰K

Table 3 Typical troll IQ at common temperatures

Temp [⁰K]

| 

255

| 

263

| 

273

| 

277

| 

283

| 

289

| 

293

| 

298

| 

308  
  
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---  
  
Temp [⁰F]

| 

0

| 

14

| 

32

| 

39

| 

50

| 

61

| 

68

| 

77

| 

95  
  
Temp [⁰C]

| 

-18

| 

-10

| 

0

| 

4

| 

10

| 

16

| 

20

| 

25

| 

35  
  
IQ

| 

135

| 

125

| 

113

| 

108

| 

100

| 

94

| 

88

| 

82

| 

69  
  
Percentile

| 

99

| 

95.2

| 

80.7

| 

70.3

| 

50

| 

32

| 

21.2

| 

11.5

| 

1.9  
  
Note: Troll IQ is considerably less variable that human, 80% of trolls tested fell within 10 IQ points of the mean at all temperatures, this is roughly 1.6 times as many as for humans.

It may be a terrible joke but if you’re having trouble with a troll get him to ‘Chill out’, literally. If however he does you should remember that at anything approaching freezing point he’s almost certainly cleverer than you.

Language

All Trolls in Ankh-Morpork interviewed by the author for the various studies [n> 518] speak Morporkian in a more or less street slang manner. Although a troll language has been suggested by others in informal communications, no printed verified evidence exists. It is possibly to suggest that before their contact with humans communication was by a mixture of body language and vocalisations relying on volume.

Writing

Trolls pictograms exist dating back 500,000 years, their attribution to language equivalents is based on very limited work by others.

Philosophy/Religion

Trolls seem to have many rather vaguely defined gods, all of whom live underground, within the mantle and it is reported they have views on time flowing backwards. The author has yet to do any serious studies in this area and will leave others to comment.

Appendix I

1 Adakite – A class of intermediate to felsic volcanic rocks containing low amounts of yttrium and ytterbium

2 Alkali feldspar granite – A granitoid in which at least 90% of the total feldspar is alkali feldspar

3 Basalt – A magnesium- and iron-rich extrusive igneous rock

4 Carbonatite – Igneous rock with more than 50% carbonate minerals

5 Diabase, also known as dolerite – An intrusive mafic rock forming dykes or sills

6 Granite – common type of intrusive, felsic, igneous rock with granular structure

7 Ignimbrite – A variety of hardened tuff

8 Latite – A silica-undersaturated form of andesite

9 Obsidian – Naturally occurring volcanic glass

10 Pegmatite – Igneous rock with very large interlocked crystals

11 Peridotite – A coarse-grained ultramafic igneous rock

12 Porphyry – Textural form of igneous rock with large grained crystals in a fine matrix

13 Pumice – Light coloured highly vesicular volcanic rock

14 Quartz diorite – A diorite with >5% modal quartz

15 Quartz monzonite – An intermediate plutonic rock, essentially a monzonite with 5–10% modal quartz

16 Quartzolite – An intrusive rock composed mostly of quartz

17 Rhyodacite – A felsic volcanic rock which is intermediate between a rhyolite and a dacite

18 Rhyolite – An igneous, volcanic rock, of felsic (silica-rich) composition

19 Scoria – Dark vesicular volcanic rock

20 Tachylyte – Essentially a basaltic glass

21 Tephriphonolite – A volcanic rock with a composition between phonotephrite and phonolite

22 Trachyandesite – An alkaline intermediate volcanic rock

23 Argillite – Sedimentary rock, mostly of indurated clay particles

24 Breccia – Rock composed of broken fragments cemented by a matrix

25 Calcarenite – A type of limestone that is composed predominantly of sand-size grains

26 Chert – A hard, fine-grained sedimentary rock composed of cryptocrystalline silica

27 Coquina – A sedimentary rock that is composed mostly of fragments of shells

28 Diatomite – Soft, siliceous sedimentary rock that is easily crumbled

29 Dolomite (rock), also known as Dolostone – Sedimentary carbonate rock that contains a high percentage of the mineral dolomite

30 Flint – Cryptocrystalline form of the mineral quartz

31 Greywacke – A hard, dark sandstone with poorly sorted angular grains in a compact, clay-fine matrix

32 Itacolumite – A porous, yellow sandstone that is flexible when cut into thin strips

33 Lignite – soft, brown, combustible, sedimentary rock

34 Limestone – Sedimentary rocks made of calcium carbonate

35 Oolite – Sedimentary rock formed from ooids

36 Shale – A fine-grained, clastic sedimentary rock

37 Siltstone – Sedimentary rock which has a grain size in the silt range

38 Wackestone – A mud-supported carbonate rock that contains greater than 10% grains

39 Anthracite – A hard, compact variety of coal that has a submetallic luster

40 Amphibolite – A metamorphic rock containing mainly amphibole and plagioclase

41 Eclogite – A dense metamorphic rock formed under high pressure

42 Greenschist – A mafic metamorphic rock dominated by green amphiboles

43 Hornfels

44 Marble – Non-foliated, metamorphic rock, a metamorphosed limestone

45 Quartzite – Hard, non-foliated metamorphic rock which was originally pure quartz sandstone – A metamorphosed sandstone typically composed of >95% quartz

46 Schist – Medium grade metamorphic rock with lamellar grain

47 Tectonite – A rock whose fabric reflects the history of its deformation


End file.
